Practicing Collaboration in Divided Times
a guest post by Anya Matanovic
You probably don’t want to hear, for the umpteenth time, about the recent elections and how eye-opening they’ve been. About all the soul-searching and reflecting on how we got here. About how divided this country is. But, as much as I want to push it all away right now and focus solely on my friends, family, music, and other sources of joy, it still lingers in the back of my mind.
But something else is lingering as well: the philosophy behind the work my father has dedicated his life to. (We never stop hearing the voices of our parents, do we?!) These thoughts push me to look at my community and family and ask myself: Am I practicing the skills we’ll need to move forward? Are we, as individuals and as a society, ready to stop digging in our heels and truly show up—ready to listen, collaborate, and find common ground?
Milenko often talks about the two types of communities we experience: our “social communities,” where we gather with those who share our values and support us, and our “communities of place,” where we connect with others through shared geography or physical space.
It’s easy to celebrate or mourn election results within our social communities, where we find comfort in shared perspectives. But communities of place (also called “bridging communities”) often brings together people from diverse backgrounds and beliefs and require something else. I’ve spent 20 years watching Milenko and my sister, Katya, dive into these kinds of communities—places where people hold vastly different views and priorities. They didn’t just navigate these differences; they helped them find common ground and work toward shared goals. It didn’t look easy, but it was a powerful thing for me to witness.
Which brings me to our current two-party system. I personally find it completely ridiculous. It’s like trying to fit everyone in the world into just three clothing sizes—small, medium, and large. (Oh wait, we actually DO that, and it’s just as frustrating!) But despite the limitations, we all make it work because we need something functional. Similarly, even in a divided system, we can focus on what we share—a need for representation and solutions that fit as many people as possible, even if the “fit” isn’t perfect for everyone.
Holding firm opinions is easy. It feels good to stick to what we know and believe. The real challenge lies in opening our minds, practicing empathy, and listening to perspectives that don’t align with our own. According to my father, this is the mindset essential for true collaboration. And collaboration isn’t just working alongside others—it’s embracing differences, seeking common ground, and building something meaningful together.
Now, more than ever, I want to approach others with curiosity, humility, and the courage to truly listen. It’s hard work, and it requires practice and a willingness to soften my heart to ideas and opinions I might normally tune out. It reminds me of one of the Pomegranate Method’s “Ground Rules for Collaboration”: Am I willing to change my mind in light of new information? Simple in theory, but harder to do than it sounds.
I got to put this into practice during a recent community meeting I attended. I came in with a little bit of knowledge and a lot of firm opinions. But by the end of the night, I left feeling grateful—not because I was right, but because I had heard perspectives that shifted my understanding completely. I might even say I did a 180. And you know what? It didn’t feel weak or like giving in. It felt empowering. I was grateful to hear what a family in a very different situation might be facing and to see the issue from their point of view. I changed my mind in light of new information.
If we can each take small steps—listening more, opening our minds, and embracing collaboration—we can help each other move forward with hope! I really do believe it’s possible. It may sound idealistic or even naive, but I think a little idealism is exactly what we need right now.
On that note, here are a few takeaways from a recent talk Milenko gave on collaboration for the North Sound ACH (Accountable Communities of Health) network of some 150 nonprofits. Feel free to share these and start practicing in your own ways—small steps can lead to big changes!